Starring: Meiko Kaji, Yayoi Watanabe, Rie Yokoyama, Isao Natsuyagi, Fumio Watanabe, Yôko Mihara, Akemi Negishi, and Hideo Murota

Directed by: Shunya Ito

Rating: (4 out of 5)

When I started this site, I assumed that the most interesting movies would be the serious dramas, and the most fun would be the women in prison exploitation pictures. As it turns out the WiP flicks are often the most fun, but they have also proven to be the most interesting in various ways. Most notably, while basically many of these films contain the usual straight-forward exploitation elements — shower scenes, catfights, etc. — there are a handful that clearly aspire to more and that manage to be surprisingly thought-provoking. Female Prisoner 701: Scorpion is one of those. I really wish I understood more about the relationship between feminism and politics in 1970s Japan. I could gleen a fair amount just from watching this movie, but really, I think FP701 could support a much more extended and detailed analysis than I am able to provide.

Anyway, the movie begins in a prison in Japan. The warden, Goda (Fumio Watanabe) is being presented with a proclamation honoring his 27 years of service. The movie was made in 1972. The 27 years mentioned is no accident, of course. In the middle of the ceremony, the alarms ring. The guards scatter to deal with an escape in progress, and the proclamation itself gets trampled under their feet. We cut to a scene outside the prison as two women run through a marsh, chased by armed men. The escaping prisoners are Matsu (Meiko Kaji) and Yuki (Yayoi Watanabe). Matsu is definitely in charge. Yuki lags behind and Matsu goes back to help her. Yuki is doubled over, and we get a shot of blood running down her legs. Matsu tell her not to worry, that it is just her period, which had apparently stopped while locked up. I perked up right there. I mean, yeah, that could be just a throw-away bit, but it strikes as pretty obvious that the movie is laying the groundwork here for a recurring theme about Japanese society, political power, and either misogyny or at least subordination of women. Read the rest of this entry »

Hogan’s Heroes, loosely inspired by Stalag 17 and by the Great Escape is a classic little situation-comedy from the 1960s that is now available on DVD. Set in a German POW camp, it seems an unlikely hit, but it had a nice balance of wit, physical humor, and even a bit of action and adventure. I used to watch in religiously in re-runs as a kid. It holds up surprisingly well. The show came into being fully-formed. Virtually all the major characters appear right from the beginning, and will stay within tightly defined roles until the end of the series. The one partial exception is Sgt. Carter (Larry Hovis) whose character becomes a touch more serious and competent as the series progresses.

The premise is cheerfully ludicrous. In Stalag 13, the prisoners actually run the show. They maintain a hub for sabotage activities and to aid other escaping POWs leave Germany. In underground tunnels, the Hogan’s men maintain a radio link to the outside, a machine shop, and tailoring facilities. The camp’s commandant, Colonel Klink (Werner Klemperer) is a bubbling fool, and the head guard Sgt. Schulz (John Banner) would rather “see nothing” than acknowledge the shenanigans he witnesses. Given that premise, it seems silly to nitpick about that fact that French prisoner LeBeau (Robert Clary) is in with English and American fliers, or that African-American Kinchloe (Ivan Dixon) is in the camp at all (American forces remained segregated during World War II).

The series is well acted on the whole, filled with interesting character actors. Its place in history, though, was probably secured by the presence of Bob Crane, whose extreme lifestyle seems to have led to his murder and which is chronicled in the movie Auto Focus. I was surprised to note that the first season has 32! episodes, each 25 minutes long. Nowadays, a TV season is about 50% shorter and each episode is only about 22 minutes. For each episode, I’ll provide the DVD box description followed by a few brief comments.

Season 1, Episode 1: The Informer

From the DVD case: At Stalag 13, a German prisoner-of-war camp, Colonel Robert Hogan (Bob Crane) and his fellow cohorts are a subversive group with many hidden talents. However, a spy has been planted amongst the men by the Germans. And when he learns of the gang’s subversive operations, “Hogan’s Heroes” must act fast to discredit him.

This tight little pilot introduces the premise and characters. The plot is thinner than gruel, though. The Germans try to plant a spy in the barracks, but he is discovered quickly when Hogan quizzes him other men in his supposed unit. This is not a well-prepared spy. Unfortunately, one of the men lets on about the secret operation before he can be warned, so they now have to dispose of the would-be spy. In real life, the men would have probably just struggled him, but here they make him look ridiculous instead by making sure that all of what he reports to Klink turns out to be false. The highlight is when the spy tries to show Klink the entrance to an underground tunnel supposedly hidden beneath a water tank, but instead douses the hapless Colonel and his colleagues. In later episodes the schemes will take on Mission Impossible-like complexity, which adds to the fun. Read the rest of this entry »

Rating: (1 out of 5)

Starring: Charles Bronson, Robert Duvall, Jill Ireland, Randy Quaid, Sheree North, and John Huston.

Directed by: Tom Gries

How does a movie starring Robert Duvall, Charles Bronson, a young Randy Quaid, and John Huston turn out so bad? Heck, it is even based on a compelling true story, so even that bit of creativity was taken care of. The answer, I think, is in the editing. Breakout could have been a good movie if it was edited more tightly. Instead, the movie routinely gives short shrift to important plot points in order to give more time to goofy and pointless scenes with secondary characters. The result is a mess.

The story begins more or less incoherently. Jay Wagner (Duvall) get arrested down in Chile and transferred to stand trial in Mexico for a staged murder. The arrest and imprisonment is set up by Jay’s grandfather Harris Wagner (Huston) who is working with a shady (is there any other kind?) CIA operative. It is not quite clear why this is necessarily, but I guess they are worried that Jay is going to expose his grandpa’s dealings with the government. This movie was made back in 1975 and they just assumed that anyone would do just about anything to hide connections to the CIA and that this did not need to be explained further.

Well, anyway, Jay is in prison. His wife, Ann, played badly by the exceptionally untalented Jill Ireland tries to get him out. I know that may sound cruel – Ireland died relatively young of breast cancer, and I think she was considered a nice enough person. But all that aside, she was a pretty terrible actress. Anyway, at first, they plan to go it alone. Jay gets some money from Ann and he tries to bribe his way out of prison. The guards offer to sneak him out in a coffin, but then ha ha, they double cross him by pretending to bury him alive. Actually, here is the first instance of inept editing. In the movie they actually do bury him alive, but shortly thereafter we see him wandering around the prison looking unhappy, but we never actually get to see the payoff when they finally let him in on the joke. Read the rest of this entry »

Rating:(0 out of 5)

Starring: Rhonda Shear, Mary Woronov, Laurie Walton, Traiv Willingham, Lauren Graham, Mike Wiebe, Louisa Lawless, Ilram Choi, and Lloyd Kaufman.

Directed by: Barak Epstein

Unwatchable. I don’t say that often about a movie, but there you go. It is unfunny, badly paced, poor acted. There are a couple of bare boobs, but in this age of ubiquitous internet porn, that just isn’t enough. Heck, if I turn off my spam filter for half an hour, my inbox will fill up with bare boobs — as well a get-rich-quick offers (much needed, since I am as poor as a church mouse) and penile enlargement ads (not at all needed, since I am hung like a horse) — and I won’t have to sit through bad attempts at humor as an added benefit.

I actually hate giving this movie a bad review. I really, really wanted to like it. I am absolutely, 100% the target audience. This is actually the kind of movie I’d probably end up making it I ever tried, and I can see how much effort went into it, but I can also see how it went horribly wrong. Read the rest of this entry »